Diary of an extremely happy girl!!

Too early in the morning to make sense

2009-04-05T23:34:00.000-07:00

LOL

So i just remembered this time in A levels when this girl brought amala to school on her birthday. I'm not talking amala for herself- im talking amala as party food!! for everyone!! with ewedu!! haha- it was hilarious!!!

So please why do we discriminate against people with nigerian accents (i.e, yoruba and igbo accents)- I was trying to figure this out and my friend said 'well because English is the first language in Nigeria and if someone is speaking with one of these accents then they are razz.' Hmmm- i dont know about that because i didnt say that they cannot speak English- what if they speak English perfectly but they still have the accent- is it fair that they are immiediately chucked into the 'i will never be friends with this person box'
ps- for all the people that have absolutely no prejudices- im very proud of you!! but please dont write a long comment about your gift!!thanks.

Where did all the good books go? Sidney Sheldon why did you have to die? Chimamanda- book three??no?

xo

On Prostitution!!! Pleeease Comment!

2009-01-18T13:30:00.000-08:00

So how do you guys think prostitutes should be seen?? do you think they have no choice..or do you think they are committing some offence..or is it a choice?

Reasons for your opinion please!

xxx

Gist from the 234!

2009-01-10T06:11:00.001-08:00

I'm BAAAAAAAAACk!! scream for JOY people!!!

so yeh wat happened in nig lets c..

Wait hold up self? What is it about the idiots that stop on the road to talk to you..i mean the ones that roll down their windows and shout stuff..or the ones that follow you slowly in the car..as in WTF?? is it because i'm walking? You think im going to jump for joy at ur chrysler or camry? as in really? One of the most ridiculous ones was the guy that jus stopped, leaned out and shouted ' can i just have your number?'... talk about straight to the point!! How about that leaned out of his window and shouted 'is it a sin to tell you that you're fine?'

Now im complaining about the cars that stop. At least thats better than the street urchins that shout. The one that was singing 'i love the way ur walking' and all the ones that shouted variations of the word 'sexy'...I curse all the times i walked on the road without my ipod..as in what the hell was i thinking?

Now that my rant is out of the way..
hows everyone???

So on the night of the first- i was at insomnia (mehn naija is deep o-clubbin till 7 o clock)..anyway it was my friends bday and that was her club of choice whats a girl to do. First of all i couldnt decide what to wear. threw on the first dress. it was a grey cotton one- very short but full sleeved- not tight-no cleavage..so ok nau! all my jd friends were like..yeh..nice dress..but my hater naija friends..'babes are u going out like that'..'shet ur naked'..etc..i turned to one and im like ' but babes..my dress is longer than yours'..what did she have to say? 'but mine is tight at the bottom'..schhheeew!.

Ok dress number two. bright red! tube, not as short as the first one- but too damn sexy..reaction 1-silence. reaction 2- 'shet mehn this babe u look like a slut'..show?? is it my fault that my body has slutty-looking tendencies..as usual, my jd babes were like-yeh its cool (ive rocked the dress here self)..anyhow i stuck to the grey dress..next thing one girl is like 'i would pay for your ass'..woah! it just came out of like nowhere..im just like riiite!!

So onto the club- i can hardly be bothered to leave my house so when i do-i have to have fuuun! so im dancing away and all- my friend- (lets call him Peter) came with his cousin who was feeling all familiar and saying stuff like ' you owe me a dance' im laughing and going 'yeh yeh-off course'.. anyhow Peter is sticking to me all noght- but its fair enough cos he's like my brother(ok thats a lie) but were tight. So at some point..were dancing on a chair (me and peter) and then i get on the floor to dance with another guy. After like one song, Peter CARRIES me.. yes-try and imagine!! CARRIES me back to the chair..in my mind im like 'oops-maybe now its time to acknowledge that my dear friend might like me..(there were other things, but story for another post)

Finally, im sitting down beside said familiar cousin and he leans over and says 'oh i forgot to say-than your mother'.
me- *blank look* what?
him- you dont know what that means?
me-err, nah!
him- well thank your mother sha-is he being serious??? was he in an American music video??

Anyways-ill come back and post some more later!! hope ur keeping your new yr resolutions u naughty nayghty people!!

DM-customs took the boy away!:(

xxx

How I got dumped..by text

2008-12-01T10:08:00.000-08:00

Friday nite..Blackberry is lying on her couch staring blankly at the tv..phone rings..she reaches lazily to pick it up.. boy- hey..blablabla..u sound tired me-im not tired so basically we samll talk for a while..then i start to talk about child abuse in nigeria and how it makes me so mad bcos no one talks about it..then he asked me 'what do u define as abuse'..that really annoyed me..my voice switched from tired to high and angry..then after arguing about the definition of rape and all that..he starts saying im overreacting and making things bigger than they are...anyway im like

me-can we continue this conversation later.
him-wat brought this on..wats all this about
me-can i just talk to you later
him-ok
me-bye

40 mins later- i call-he ignores

next day- i text

me-so are you like keeping malice with me?

...and i get this three page reply

him- no berry, i swear 2 God i was jst tinkin abt u wen ur msg cam in, bt i wont hav u kick me out n get me bak lik sum toy, u INDIRECTLY/LITERALY asked me to get off ur fone yest and dat was TOTALY uncald 4, i found it vry disrespectful, c'mon nw, we were jst havn a convasatn n a laf so wots wit d short fuse, wel, rili cant blame u much 4 it, its ma mistk/fault, no im no kipn malice with u dami 'n dat was quite funny' but i think i shld kip away b4 it gets any worse.

LOL..i was looking at the text at wrk like seriously???

ok-i know i always tell incomplete stories..so i'll start from the beginning. This was the guy that i met on fcebk(he saw my profile and asked my friend for my number). So basically-we start talking- he's 7 yrs older..so he has two recurring themes..me as his baby, and disrespect. And this really freaky-he always referred to himself as my baby..errr..i know, i know, people tend to do this kind of thing-but if anyone is going to be the baby-its going to be me!!! Anyway-hes a nice person and not bad looking-but honestly-apart from the fact that he jumped straight into the whole 'u dont care about me' thing. We didnt have the mst fascinating conversations...so im not lying when i say um- i dont care!!!

so yah-thats the story of how i got dumped by text!!

xx

To the idiotic anonymous person....

2008-11-30T08:11:00.000-08:00

I do not want ignorant anonymous people commenting on my blog and when i can be bothered, im going to change the settings..if ur the idiot that made ignorant remarks about my music taste..the read this carefully..ur a dunce!! I dont write anything so that everyone has to agree. i accept that people have different opinions..but dont come to MY blog and tell me what my opinions are..

To all my blog family-new post about how i got dumped by text coming soon!! as soon as im dont fuming!!

xx

Errrrr....

2008-11-23T06:25:00.000-08:00

So its sunday.

What should i write about?

the fact the i LOVE dirty sexy money?

You know whats weird? were struggling for anonymity that it seems most of us dont actually want. People are actually quite quick to reveal identity..and its weird that the people that have never met you know you almost as well as you know yourself.

Its in that bid for anonymity that i created my other blog. Where i'm not as much of a joker. Where i say what i'm really feeling all the time!! Where i'm not always extremely happy. But in my desperate bid to hold on to my shreds of anonymity..im not going to say what it is!! hehe

Now back to my happy self..i fink my flatmate likes a boy!! Now this will be like..err..so?? but she has NEVER had a boyfriend! never kissed a guy!! and..never admitted to liking anyone and ive known her for three years!! i think he likes her too! im so excited..but im burying my excitement so she doesnt scare away! i can write a whole post on my flatmate so ill just leave it there.

i waaant to like a booooy!! apply! when my friends are dying of attraction...im jus feeling like bla!

Ok..i promise to stop writing such random posts!...soon

xx

My Maga don Pay

2008-11-13T14:17:00.000-08:00

I cannot believe this. So..im chilling in my room..reading my favorite mag- company-gidilounge playing naija music in the background(just discoverd the website..nxt thing..i was hearing something..im like..uhn?? look at the name of the song..'maga don pay'..lyrics..'you can have anything you want, because my mage don pay'..'everyday, day and nite, my boys dey on system..not God don bless us'...'*my maga don pay..shout halleluyah..mugu don pay..shout halleluyah...halleluyah'....pls..spare a couple of mins and just listen to part of the song on youtube. I think it is the ABSOLUTE height of stupidity!! as in really!! I know some people may say im being uptight..its just a joke and all..but seriously??

I love my country..i really do..but how can i continue to defend it when ignorant people like this go around singing halleluyah because the mugu paid! gee!! i dont even know wat to say anymore..

*the idiot has paid

xx

I'm updating- but i have no fans:(

2008-11-09T12:23:00.000-08:00

Ok..ive actually been busy this time. New job, school work..etc.

I met a new boy.

He saw my profile on my friends page and asked for my number.

Im getting tired of meeting people.

Its the same pattern. You meet, they are in love with you..and everything is perfect..until they stop returning calls and you're arguing all the time.

Oh and im on a diet..altho my *hater friends would say im beautiful the way i am

My best friend has a boyfriend. She has turned from the most laid back, unemotional person ever to this 'cute im in love person' *sigh*

is that a sigh of jealousy?

Can it be that after two years and a bit..im FINALLY tired of being single??

ps- my ex is too bloody sexy..damn!!!

xx

*they love me really

Make up and the new guy!

2008-10-16T02:45:00.000-07:00

Ok..im going to put up this post because:

1. I wrote it weeks ago
2. I've promised and promised and promised

BUT

Some things arent the same as when i originally wrote this. So watch out for disclaimers.

The other day, i wandered into my flatmates room when she was putting on make-up. Hmm-liquid foundation- interesting. Now, i had never tried liquid foundation before and the brush she was using was quite attractive, so i thought 'why not?'

From the moment that smooth, brown liquid touched my face, i was hooked. I turned from a 'i don't wear make-up' to a full blown 'i cant wait to wake up, so i can wash my face and put on liquid foundation' HELP!! The other day i started work at a disgusting 6. 45 and i STILL woke up early enough to get my fix!! Yeugh- i've turned into ONE OF THOSE GIRLS!!!

(Now this addiction has passed, thank God)

So yeah back to the other guy. I'll call him MR VERY HAPPY-MVH- because that's what he makes he makes me. Gee. I'm like one of those silly cheesy girls now. But really mehn. ok so how does he make me happy?

- I LOVE talking to him. I don't think i've talked to someone this much since i was in like JSS3 and that was many many years! We talk about everything and anything.

- He annoys me so much but you know, in that cute way where i'm smiling and saying 'you're so annoying' *grin*

I'm smiling permanently when
(a) I think of him
(b) I'm talking to him
(c) I see his number on my screen

- I've even taken to stalking his facebook! Yikes!

Ok- i'm going to stop there now- this is getting too cheesy for me!!!

So yeah- thats what i wrote at that point. At this point. Yeah- MVH is still in my life. Am i very happy? sometimes. Is it hard? A lot of the time. Does he annoy me FOR REAL??? YEEES!! It's not in a cute way. I get really pissed. But hey-thats life eh? At least i enjoyed that phase!!

x

its raining weirdos!!

2008-09-30T23:36:00.000-07:00

I woke up with a start this morning and had an epiphany!
*berry to self*- U have to start blogging more regularly and you need to start finishing gist in ONE post!!

self- but its their fault..nobody reads the blog anymore..y should i care!

berry- maybe they r tired of coming to the page and seeing your one month old post..it gets annoying!

*sigh*

*long post alert*

So..hey!! Wow..all of a sudden..even if this 'dating' was an internal decision..it appears that someone took out an ad for me in some national newspaper because woah!..ive been meeting the weirdest people.

Ok..some of the weird people have nothing to do with dating self

bit of background info- when uni started..i took this job..working with international students during freshers week..u know..picking them from the airport and sorting them out during the week..all that sorta stuff!

1. So this was one of the days when i went to heathrow to pick up some students. I'm at work so obviously..my accent is totally different (as in really..only nigerians understand naija accent)..so im organising people into coaches and stuff and this guy just goes like..

guy- U look nigerian
me- i am

*guy bursts into laughter*

guy- oyiiiinbo!

me thinking 'WTF' ????

ME- pardon
guy- what did you just say..u said perdon..y are u sounding like that

*i stare at him blankly*

2. So im working inside uni this day..im at the door of the marquee..holding a clicker which is basically just to count the number of people that come into the marquee..this guy comes over (it doesnt help that i have a huge name tag with my nigerian name on it)..

guy- hello
me- *smiling* hiii
guy- so you are a nigerian
me- yeah *still smiling*
guy- so u were born here abi?
me- um..no.
guy- you can tell from my accent that i just came abi??

now let me just mention here that i have nothing against meeting nigerians..i just dont like
(a) the familiarity- were not automatic friends because were from the same country
(b) judging me- im sorry if i dont sound nigerian enough for you..it happens ok? get over it! and im at work..when im with my friends..i can be wateva i want to be..but at work..i neeed to let people understand me!!!

3. So im at home on my day off. My flatmate comes back laughing and excited..

flatmate- can u imagine what happened at work today?? this guy comes over to me and asks if i remember him..im looking at him blankly..then he says..oh its not u..im looking for the girl that was holding that clicking thing..i dressed up for her

*apparently he was wearing a suit!!*

so basically he asked quite a few people for me and everybody had a laugh about it..what the hell??

4. I'm at the marquee..this guy comes over..he's cute sha..

guy- im technically not an international student..because ive been here for a while..but i just thought i'd see what was happening here
me- where are u from
guy- ghana
me- some happy speech that im supposed to give..about how we can help and stuff
guy hangs around and makes conversation till i volunteer to go and work somewhere else.

later in the day guy comes back to look for me. hangs around till i finish work. walks with me part of the way home. we swap numbers. comes to look for me the next day..etc

third day- tells me how hes attracted to me (physically purely) and bla bla bla..riiite...(although i wont lie to u..for him to feel attracted to me in that horrible uniform!!!)

5. Remember bulgy muscle guy that i was telling you about in the last post?? kai! that guy has a way of making me RUUUUUUUUUN!!

guy- u have a great body..i have a great body..were going to make some beautiful babies

um...WTF??? how is it that great bodies= beautiful babies???

guy- berry, i want to be your boyfriend, i want you to be my girlfriend, i want you to be part of my family, i want you to meet my family, i want us to build our careeres together, i want us to buy a house together......

me - *starting blankly at my phone and wondering what ive done to deserve this*

what even made the speech crazier was that he was actually at a hse party and he went to his car to call me! i hoope he was drunk!! i really do!!

ok..thats all i can do today mehn!..ill dedicate my next post to the 'other guy' i mentioned at the end of my last post!!

xx

Foray into the tigers Den!

2008-09-13T15:57:00.000-07:00

So i'm out with this guy. In the car, on the way back, he turns and asks 'are you wearing makeup?'..im like 'no'..i looked at him and in my mind i was thinking 'o boy-u know see that fat white thing wey dey my forhead?? Na pimple dem de call am!!'

But yeah- so im kind of dating again-this means going out on actual dates, not whatever other meaning there is of that word-and believe me it is not a sexy experience. But then sexy os a relative word because maybe this guy should be sexy- lets call him GB-gym body. Mehn this guy if 6 3'' and he has some kind of bulgy muscles-that too me is TOO MUCH!! kini?? I prefer my guys smaller-i dont mind the height-but all that muscle-neh..ill pass! whats more-hes older-not by much to be fair, 5yrs. But thats enough to put him in a different league, i.e, marriage weighs heavy on his mind and on my own mind?? not so much!! Not to be a bitch, he opens doors and pays, makes sure i get home safe (by dropping me there)-mehn na jand we dey o, guy go jus give you tube map and say bye bye, he doesnt mind that i dont say much and hes all smiles around me- *sigh*

So yeah-im dating again-and theres this other guy....

Who the hell is wifey????

2008-08-22T02:58:00.000-07:00

Ok..i'm burnt!! where is the love now? I really thot people missed me *weeps silently and cutely*...anyway because i'm nice like that..ill just give u the wifey gist like that..if u dint read my last post, go and quickly read it now so you can get the gist.

*short break while the dulling people go and read the last post*

ehen..so u get now abi??

So this faithful day. It was a wednesday. I decided to go to my friends house (because the guy was there obviously)..ok lets clarify a few things..the guy i like-lets call him tunji..and the friends house i went to lets call him-Seth (what kind of name is that??)...Anyway..i went to Seth's house because Tunji was there. oooo..now that some people know who i am i have to edit the gist. Anyway..Tunji was looking as fine as usual..i was happy because i went with one of my girlfriends. She had seen his picture on fcbk before and she was like 'um..he's alright'..(which secretely means 'what the hell do you see in him???)...but now she was drooling..hiss!..but i digress..

Anyway..Tunji is lying on this chair and i go and sit next to him. His eyes are closed because he's forming 'stressed out'..so i pick his phone off his stomach and start pressing buttons. Now this is strange..i am NOT a nosy person (i think im too self absorbed to be nosy)..anyway next thing i know im in hos call list. Last dialled number-wifey!!

YEPA!! I dropped the phone like expired milk. WIFEY??? Its not like we were together or anything..but if there was a 'wifey' i didnt know about then i must have been really stupid. Anyway i got up..he picked his phone up..looked through it and put it in his pocket (an obvious sign of guilt)..I felt like dying!! i called my best friend..she said i was overreacting..like wifey could be anyone..but hes just not that kind of person!! (the kind of person that would put a friend as wifey)..I deleted his number(lol..primary skool stuvs)

As if that wasnt enough..we had planned to meet up on thursday (remember it was wednesday)..he now asked..

Tunji-what are you doing tomorrow?
me-seeing you
Tunji-what about now???
(yepa!!)
me-okay then..i dont know what i'm doing tomorrow.
Tunji-no no..its just that seth is coming to my house (On our day???!)..but you should come..yeah come
me- i dont really like threesomes
Tunji-(laughing)..im getting you

Now my resolve was strenghthened...i was NEVER talking to him again!!..um..until the next day..lol..Seth came to pick me and we went to his house..long story short sha..wifey turned out to be *drumroll please* HIS MUM!! lol..

kai..i can write a book about all this Tunji boy!!

Anyway..as soon as i figure out how to do it..im going private!! Actually i might just change my URL thingi..i dont know yet sha..so heads up and all!!

xx

Who is she to you???

2008-08-11T07:35:00.000-07:00

I'M BAAAAACK!!!! WHO MISSED ME????

lol..i've been sooo lazy!! Too lazy to blog..i'm sorry guys!! I love D'banj's 'fall in love'..the song is crazy sick cool!! I LOOOVE it!!! Anyhow what has been happening to me??

First of all i need to understand what 14 yr old boys are allowed to do. The day my brother called me from his friends house to say he was taking a cab home, i screamed at him to wait for me to make alternative arrangements! As in it was soooo scary!! lol..i know i'm being a little dramatic here...but seriously..like we live two streets away from our cousin. Now you can go two ways. 'Agbero central' or 'Mallam central'. Now agbero central is a cleaner street but i prefer to go via mallam central, jumping over puddles and begging chickens to let me pass. Why?? because errr..mallams are safer than agberos!! Now one dark night..(like 7.30 ish)..my brother wanted to go and see my cousin. My mum tells him to go himself knowing fully well that the only available route was agbero central!! As in if you see the evil eye i gave her ehn! She sha wants to kill the boy!! ah ah

Anyhoo...i havent gone down the holiday romance route...why? because i was /am hung up on this stupid boy. Now i know he doesnt like me..i wasnt sure before..but i guess thats what this summer was for..to know for sure. Now i planned to write a list of things he has done to show this..to help other girls..lol..but i honestly cannot remember.so..ill think about it and get back to it!!

oh! the other day i called the said guy. some babe picked it up
'um..hello..can you call him back, hes driving'

yay!my life...for those that dont understand the implication of this..go and find out!! lol..turns out it was his sister..hiss..lol

Then the next day..im just randomly pressing buttons on his phone..call log..recieved calls-wifey! um..say what??? this is why you should never be nosy!!! i wanted to die(cos it obvioulsy wasnt me)...lol..but being the smart girl that i am...i found out who it was..but more about that later

toodles!

xx

Welcome to NIGERIA

2008-07-04T02:24:00.000-07:00

Ok. For clarity sake on my last post..Sule was the ex. Now to this post..

Wow..now before anyone gives me any speech about me fronting..i'm not fronting..i came back to nig last year..so i should remember how everything is right? wrong!! It's funny how your memory can play tricks on you and you remember all the good bits..hpw u meet hot guys..and how NEPA taking light is a time to bond..and how traffic is really just the same as London..and how you always have money..infact..total rubbish!!

First of all..the ATM's in the airport kindly told me that solo cards werent the way to go..so i arrived in Nig with 20 quid. Ok now? no biggie..money will flow shey? Get home..theres light..ah ah..i said it! nig is bunz..ok..buy sim card..hmm..aunty puts credit inside..this is what i'm talking about..ok..friends call..they come over..'WE MISSED YOU..YOURE LOOKING TOO MAD...etc..ehn..mad!

Time to go out..and this is where it all starts to go wrong. Palms- nandos- they give you TWELVE chips!! no joke..12!! fair enough..ermm..lets go to shoprite..berry chill here nau..ur just coming from sainsburys..what are you going to shoprite for?? ok..i chilled. Sha at night at the end of everything..we are coming back from my grandmas hse..people are running! hausa men that swear by jazz are running!! ehn..my mum starts to reverse..she's too confused.open car door..'oya everybody RUN'...lol..we fly out of the car..everyone starts running!! no one even holds my little cousins hand..every man for himself..we're running..my brother is like 'see temi' (my childhood friend-the babe too was running)..me i'm like 'this guy forget Temi..just RUN"...kai..im unfit sha..my chest almost collapsed after that run!

We came home-no light. Great! yesterday was in traffic for FOUR hrs!! I now sleep at 9 o clock because the days are so tiring!! I always feel grimy and dirty! my 'cleanse, tone, mosturise' routine has now become..'cleanse, tone'..because trust me..mosturiser aint making it to my skin!!

Anyway when all is said and done..gorra love nigeria..watch out for more details..btw..i think all the hot boys have dried up..but thats a whole other post..buttercup.i havent forgotten you o!!

xx

Untitled- The beginning to no end

2008-06-23T13:01:00.000-07:00

I always thought a girl hitting on me would be the ultimate compliment. Now, standing in the bathroom and rebuffing the advances of a particularly mannish girl, i wasnt so sure. At first i thought i must be imagining it. The apprieciative once over (more like three times over)..i put it down as a girl checking out my outfit. No big deal. Now she was standing next to me whispering suggestive things in my ear. The bathroom is too small to move. I'm trying to ignore her. I can't leave. I can't leave because he's out there. I sigh. My throat hurts and i want to cry. I don't have enough strength to stop breathing in my ear, so i whisper a silent prayer that she leaves.

Sule. the name slipped into my mind and continued to repeat itself. Sule, Sule, Sule. I shook my head. Mannish girl took that as her cue to leave. i sighed a breath of relief. Sule. I remembered when i hated his name. The first time we were introduced, i sneered. It was one of those names i turned my nose down at, ranking with 'Shakirat'. I was cocooned in my British education, I loved to apprieciate all things Nigerian from a distance. He looked at me with disdain and i felt like he could see right through me. He made me feel ashamed. That day i knew that he would have me. He knew that after one glance, he controlled 'next'. I start to cry and i feel relief.

I cant go back out because he's here with his new girlfriend. He hasnt seen me. I know i look good. I havent risked going out once without looking my best since the incident. But im alone. I cant stand him pitying me. I dont know what to do. I reapply my lipstick and walk out of the bathroom.

A healthy suggestion to boys and girls!

2008-06-09T03:03:00.000-07:00

So this is what after exam life is like-over rated! I'm lying here..reading blogs..and waiting for some final year people to check their results, so i can laugh with them..or be their shoulder to cry on!lol..everybody is dulling a little bit..with tin tin analyzing babes..*rolls eyes* and talking about brideprice...soupasexy is closing down her blog..Chari is a writer o! ah ah..the cheesy boy is writing casanove stories..nigerian drama queen..not updating..my dear minky is telling us to find the right guy!! Infact this after exam stuvs is long mehn..i can't wait to go to nig.

Me.lol..it's bad to delete numbers o. Yesterday someone whose number i only just deleted called me..I was in a happy mood!

me- hey hey
he-how r u doing..wats going on..blabla
me-im gud, chilling..etc
he-where r u
me- (thinking err..y is a stranger asking)..um..i actually dont know who this is
he-really
me-um..yeah
he-so did you just change your fone or did u delete my number
me-hmm..u dont sound like someone whose number i deleted
he-rite..anyway it's..
me-(at this point it clocked)
he-______
me-omg! err..yeah..it doesnt mean anything that i deleted it..i just thot i shouldnt talk to you for a while..etc
he-ok (laughing in that bad mind way)
me-im sorry..u know i still love u (blablablabull)
he-(laughs)
me-as long as u understand y i did it
he-i dont understand at all

gosh..basically..i had no good reason for deleting that number..it was just one of those days when i was just irritated..lol

Imagine if everyone stopped posting about guys. how they are tired of guys and how much smarter they are. And guys stopped posting about girls-how were all stupid and like make up sex..then how many blogs will really be left...

The truth is no matter how smart we think we are..we are only as smart as till we fall..then were screwed! so everyone can play as many mind games as they want..when you fall..thats it..i know people that are so sprung..but in front of their friends..they just appear 'cooly noncommitmal'..yeah right..please people always lie!!! I know people that forgive their boyfriend for cheating..they even beg him to come back..then they start acting like..'im too smart..i play with guys heads..i dont take crap'...im bored!!

heres a suggestion...boys and girls..stop talking so much..just be! Yes tintin..ur so smart..girls are stupid..yes vindi..u play on guys minds..etc..yes cocoa..ur not settling down, ur along for the ride..i enjoy the stories o..and i dont dispute the facts..but really!!! everyone knows what they feel..their just afraid to say it!

Chari..i love you!!

xx

Random Morning Confessions(blogger wont let me space)

2008-05-30T01:12:00.000-07:00

In the spirit if tagged..i think ill write random things about myself. Quirks? me thinks not!

1. I love plane food-OK..love is an exaggeration..but i actually like it..business class, economy, local flights from Lagos to abuja..everything.lol! but..on the ground..i don't like to eat out..i actually hate nandos! (and i am not a grubby like minky!}

2. I love cold showers-i loathe hot showers. They make me sweat(while im still in there o)..why take a hot shower when you can take a delicious cold shower..well you can start hot..and end cold! ps-in the deep of winter..i take hot showers o!!

3. I walk in a straight line-my grandma always used to tell me that ladies are supposed to walk in a straight line, looking like there's a book on their head..yadiyadiya..and me being me..i practised..i walked on straight lines in heels..barefoot..outside..inside..and now that's just the way i walk!

4. i have like 3 diaries at any given time-there's always one in my bag, so i can write on the train..in church..etc..theres always one in my room..usually the most inconvenient to take anywhere..and there's usually a travelling one..a compromise between the two.

5. And..i have an exam tomorrow that i really have to read for!so..cold shower time!

Gorra Love Mcdonalds

2008-05-19T04:38:00.000-07:00

Mcdonalds is a wrong place. So the other day i was there...(err..it was my cousin that wanted to eat..lol)...anyway..i was there sha..and the woman in front of me started placing her order. First of all she had a fake accent..(sorry igbo people..but she was igbo)...lol..blond hair..red lipstick..tight jeans and puffer jacket..waith pointed pointies!! i kid u not!!

woman- i want a large big mac meal..large fries..large drink..with a crunchie mcflurry and one apple pie...oh but pls make the coke a diet coke!! lol!!

then why the hell does mcd have salads?? its mcd for goodness sake...salad or no salad!!

Why..On EARTH would a child want CARROT STICKS INSTEAD OF fries?? just bcos they have roughly the same shape does NOT make them similar..err..orange..yellow?(wait..are fries yellow?)..but anyhoo..u get my drift sha..

thats how the other day i was going on a date. tight black jeans...white shirt...hipped in with a gorgeous leather belt..etc..scent..check..mad earrings..check..lipgloss popping..check..phone for missed calls?? ha-ha..my phone laughs..no missed call..sha guy comes..i climb into BMW..leather seats..asa playing..ah ah..this is tew mad o..'where are we going'...'its a surprise'...i smile like it's christmas day (wait..on christmas day y would i b smiling when i dont even get presents)..anyhow sha.. making small talk..'u look amazing'..before nko..we pull up to a building..it looks strangely familiar..he parks..turns off the ignition..i wait small..thinking he would open door for me..osho!! lol..the guy just waited by the car for me to come out...thats how i cleared the mucus from my eye and looked away!! yepa..mcdonalds!!..

...then i woke up from my dream!! God forbid..i scream!!..lol
x

Sowwy I went away

2008-05-13T02:41:00.000-07:00

Apparently..people actually read this blog!..so my sorry for my unexplained absence..i wuz too lazy+ im actually studying for exams..so this one is specially for u!!

So..what has been happening to me..well..after i found out about the guy that was younger than me..lets call him ttubby!..lol..sha..i didnt stop talking to ttubby..and what do you know..one day i realised that..omg..he's not so bad..whats the big seal about the age gap..and it doesnt matter that my best friend doesnt like him..he's still cool! um...yah..at that point tha boy wasnt buying it..he had freed! lol..so much for me being too hot o!

U know what..please i actually want feedback on this one..if u like someone..and obviously they dont know..etc..and u guys were playing a game like truth or dare..etc..and u were dared to kiss them..would u? or would that trivialise it...i was thinking about this the other day..and um..i dont know..what does anyone think??

Yay!! i have an after exam date with someone i actually might like one day..um..altho..the said person might be moving to another country next mnth!! lol..ah well..take one day at a time..

It's crazy..i've been broken up from my ex for 2 years and people still ask me about him..about us..etc..its very disconcerting..what is it?? He's like a shadow that follows me around..or better still..a nightmare i won't wake up from! ah ah...the other day i told him..imagine what the idiot said..'berry..noone asks me..y is it only u they ask?'..imagine!! hidiot!!

Ok..i would love to talk about a lot of random other things..but i truly have to read my books..so to the few people that read this..thanx!!

:)x

Me? i'm single

2008-04-15T07:36:00.000-07:00

So apparently..i have a boyfriend..yaaah *intense eye rolling*...in his mind...

I met this guy the other day. We danced, we talked..and he took my number. Thanks to facebook we talked and then on the phone we talked some more. Fair enough. Then the words 'us', 'relationship', and 'girlfriend' started flying into the conversation. ok??!! Then the next thing, he was coming to mine..then the next thing we were having a kissathon..lol..and then befor i could say *insert whatever people say*..i found out that he is younger than me! WHAT?? ah well..like they say 'life is a bitch'..

The next thing i know..he's inviting myself to mine next weekend..err..how do you say..nah! child abuse is not my forte. In all honesty..even if he wasn't younger..there really isn't ANYTHING there..like i feel nothing..so it wouldn't be fair to lead him on..*sigh*..when did life get so complicated?

Dip-ph-erent

2008-04-06T06:04:00.000-07:00

Call me weird..or unique..or random..whatever you call me..im different, and i'll be the first to admit it. Now this isn't always a good thing. Like today..this baby..he couldn't have been more than a year old..he was chatting me up! shamelessly. Everytime his mum will turn to see why he was smiling so much..my eyes would just fly to the door. It made it very hard to concentrate!! Like today again..i was walking from church (did i mention that i was looking a bit trampy)..lol..but some guy was like 'xcuse me'..im like 'yeah?' (being nice because i just left church)..he's like 'where are you from?'...i'm like..'err Nigeria'..he's like 'ok'..how random is that?? I was with my friend as well..i just started walking really fast..lol!

Hmm..what else makes me weird?

Actually..ill take some time out and think about it!
x

The joy of break-ups

2008-03-28T14:45:00.000-07:00

Why do we always look as break-ups as a disadvantage. I personally choose to see the glass half full and see breakups as an advantage. Let me tell you why.

1. The weight loss-well to be fair, it might get to the stage where you start looking like a lollipop (almost quite scary)..but ultimately for people like me who find it hard to lose any amount of weight at any given time, this is a HUGE advantage. the weight just falls off!!

2. The productivity-to stop yourself from sinking into the deep abyss called depression you find activities to do. After my last brek-up, i started writing my first book. In the weeks after the breakup, i wrote furiously..people read the first chapter and begged to see more..As i gradually got over the break=up..the words got fewer and the chapters dried up. Today, am i finished? NO..lol

3. The attention- like moths to a flame, humans are drawn to sadness. When you experience a break-up, people are around you. Off course it's irritating at first, but gradually you come to accept it with as much graciousness as the queen.

4. The attention (part 2)- why is it that you suddenly become hotter after a break-up. People are suddenly all over you. There are rebound possibilities left right and centre..*sigh*

5. The kindness- Because people are scared that you might be broken (and you very well might be)..they become so nice to you...i do't know..what do they think you are going to do? kill yourself?

*disclaimer* this is strictly for jokes and is not meant to be offensive to anyone that may currently be broken hearted.

Compartmentalisation

2008-03-24T03:22:00.000-07:00

I've always wondered how people can compartmentalize. Before i go into this obvious rant..perhaps i should explain what i mean. Compartmentalisation has to do with putting stuff that you do in separate compartments in your head. that is, for example..you cheat on someone but feel no guilt because to you..it's a totally different thing. This might seem slightly psycotic..like think of murderers that have families and all. To them the murder has absolutely nothing to do with being a father..etc.

But it's not my place to pick murderers minds..i want to pick cheaters minds. So how do people do it? The excuse i most hate is 'it's just sex'..what does that even mean?? How can sex with someone else be just sex? off course it's just not sex..just like it's just not a kiss..what it is is just cheating. How are people so blase? I've been the cheatee (guy that girl cheated with)..and i still don't understand it. In my defence..i didn't know. Great were his powers of compartmentalization!! If anyone knows how..please tell me how?? Because quite frankly i'm baffled.

Ramblings

2008-03-17T03:55:00.000-07:00

I read about a woman that had AIDS. The truly fascinating thing about the story was not that she had AIDS. It was that after she found out she had it, she got married to a man she met AFTER her diagnosis. How amazing is that??

It awakens my faith..not just in the male race..but in the human race. Obviously, im not hoping i get a life threatening disease, so i can find someone who loves me for that..but it feels good to know that there are people like that on earth! In Nigeria!!

I was talking to this guy yesterday and he was telling me how girls are really confused. For once, i didnt argue. Girls ARE confused. In one day, a girl can decide to never talk to a guy again, to break up with him, to give him another chance, to break up again....is there really any point giving a girl advice??

LOL..yest a guy told me that it's up to a girl to tell a guy she likes him and then he'll start to try to like her..Let me explain better

GIRL- I like you
GUY- i'd be lying if i said i liked you now..but theres a 70% chance that eventually i'll like you!

LOL..how very sad is that??

x

How come??

2008-03-12T06:12:00.000-07:00

I wonder:

1.how come black people always find other black people..

2. How come Nigerians always know other nigerians..each conversation has to start with tracing mutual friends..truly..truly..what difference does it make if my cousin is someone you havent talked to in 7 yrs?

3. How come people can still be categorized and people still do things like call primark clothes 'housegirl clothes'?

4. How come people prefer an expensive gift to one that thought actually went into?

5. How come people care so much what other people do/eat/wear/get as gifts??

6. How come people have to try and 'nigerianise' themselves..by claiming to like stuff they don't? Why do people care if i prefer mash to eba?? Why does that mean 'you've been living here too long'...um no..it means..i prefer mash to eba!!

7. How come people still insult guys in front of their friends to look 'hard' or whatever..and then go out with them..Looking like a bitch is stupid..and yes you hate guys..they are evil..but u can't stay single..or better still..try another race.

8. How come size 12 is fat!

9. How come girls still like talking about other girls boobs..um primary school anyone??

10. How come people assume that the better looking person in a relationship is the one that likes the other person less??

If you have an answer..please help..

On another note, there's i'm going to an event tonight that might turn out to be extremely interesting or drastically dry!!

I wish me luck..i might need it

xxx

Case of the Ex

2008-03-04T07:56:00.000-08:00

I met him on a sunday. My friend sent me to lie to him about being asleep. Being the pathetic lair that i was the first words he said to me were 'thats the lie she sent you to tell me abi?'...The first time we talked, he took my book and wrote his numbers. All three. That was it. We happened.

We were perfect until we made it 'official'. One month and six days after we started 'going out'. he asked me for a break. I didnt eat for four days!lol..(i dont think it can ever happen again).. Basically, our relationship didnt really recover after we got back together. So thats how he became my ex.

But woah..two years later, im still hung up on him..na jazz? I hold every single guy up to him. I dont get it.

Err..i had a lot to say..but i have no time to say it right now..so..soon.
xx

About-Friends

2008-02-25T03:03:00.001-08:00

Is it just me..or do you wish sometimes that your friend will take your side. I'm all for honesty-yeah you shouldn't lie to your friends and all that-but sometimes i already know my mistake-i just want my friend to tell me it's fine. Off course i know someone syin 'it will be fine' does not mean it will be fine...but it just makes me feel better. I remember after a break up, my friend always used to tell me that my ex was staring at me-she was constantly looking for signs to make me believe that he still loved me! Even now, i don't care if it was true or not-it made me feel better. Human beings are insensitive. I remember one time after some stupid guy had me crying on the phone to my friend.. inbetween sobs im like 'do you think it's me?..why do all guys do this'..all she needed to do was say..'thats rubbish..no'...Do you know what she said? 'i think so..it's probably something you're doing'.. I think that was the time i started restricting what i said. If you cannot count on your friend to make you feel better when you're down-then really?

I love my flatmate, because she will never hit me when im down. Trust me the best time to tell someone they are doing something wrong is not when they are cryin on their bedroom floor, or shouting in anger.At that point be a friend-say the right things..when they feel better-you can say what you want-tactfully.

Another thing-listening. My friends fall into two broad categories. Those that listen and those that don't. For those that fall into the latter category, i restrict what i say. if it doesnt sound interesting enough in my head-i won't tell them. No matter how close they are! I think iot's selfish not to listen. Some of my friends just say stuff that is sooo boring? so? everyone is boring sometimes..i know that when i'm boring-they'll listen too.

I think trust is the foundation of any relationship. If my friend starts thinking im lying, then im going to start talking less and less. It goes both ways- if you think your friend is lyin to you-maybe u should just ask them straight up why they would lie to you-or whatever works. If you cant trust someone...err..really..what's the point?

I like to think im a good friend, that's why i have few friends-quality, rather than quantity!

Email me!

2008-02-21T06:34:00.000-08:00

if you have anything to say about anything..
email me:
darkerberry@hotmail.com

xx

My First Heartbreak

2008-02-21T05:19:00.000-08:00

I was 11. He was an older guy-13. He was hot (at least to us at that time); half caste looking, with some kind of somalian looking hair and he could play 'b-ball'. His parents were fine, and everyone in their family had some exotic sounding janded names..not peter and paul oh..kai..i dont want to mention names sha-use your imagination. hot stuvs! We heard he moved into the estate, after he told one boy, 'my mum will call the police on you'..In those days, when the general threat was 'i'll break ya head'..'try me..you will see something today'..he screamed..hmm..class? at least to us sha.

We sharply made friends with his sister. She take style fine sha..but we didn't care about her long hair and blemish free smooth skin..We just wanted to watch J playin b-ball and looking fine. Eventually, we formed some sort of friendship with him..and the big question came..'so who do you like?' It was a big deal for weeks..the main contenders being, me and my best friend L. Eventually, he wrote it on the dashboard of his dad's car with chalk as it drove out of his house one day. BB. Yes!! I had a boyfriend. After some badly spelled letters (from him) declaring his love..we were official!!

Anyhoo..I have no idea what we did sha..but I had to go back to boarding school. When i came back maybe for half term or something..There was 'hot gist' all over the estate. J had cheated on me..with L! my best friend and my boyfriend;what a cliche..Apparently, it wasn't a one time thing..they were having an affair(well-two times); the first time-they had a 'show me i show u'..lol..how dirty..the second time..he pulled down her thin 'sphaggeti straps' and squeezed her breasts..his verdict? 'her breasts were like puff puff'..

To be honest..i wasn't heartbroken..i just found the whole thing funny. I guess i cheated with the title. im bored now.

xx

Marry me Please?!

2008-02-21T02:01:00.000-08:00

These days i'm addicted to blogsville. If it was a real place, with real people, who had real faces and real names (u get the general idea).. i would get down on my knee(s) and beg naijafineboy to marry me! Is it possible to fall in love with someone bcos of how they write..apparently..But while i'm waiting for him to realise he cant live without me and propose...

I went on a date last nite..This isn't the first time i've gone out with this guy-it's the second (and the last) time. the first time i went out with him..i remember being a bit repulsed by his tiny body and extremely spotty face (which was well hidden in the dim light when i met him). He showed up half an hour late and spoke in this 'i've bin in jand for years..so my voice has to change' accent. I was quiet throughout the hour long date and promptly deleted him from my memory!..as they say 'everybody makes mistakes'..

As they also say (who is they?) 'time heals all wounds...so somehow when he called me yesterday to ask me out again..it seemed like a good idea. it's not like i had anytthing better to do? right?

First of all, he showed up early without calling first!! He was actually proud that he was on time..I on the other hand was still lounging in my ratty pyjamas and eating indomie! I hate being late..but it was his fault..i still had to rush around and wear something(that looked good).sha sha..wen i finally made it out..he still said something about 'woman and getting ready'..

Anyhoo..i was thinking..ok..time does heal all wounds..until we got out of the car and he started shrugging on his grey denim jacket!! shey na joke be dis?? it had pockets on the chest area!! kai!!after scratching the options of public places (resturants, bars..) we went to the cinema. ps-i love the cinema because: it's dark..u don't have to talk..and when the movie is over..you can talk about the movie if you have nothing else to say.

when we were pondering on what food to buy...he pointed to an icecream tub and said 'if you buy that i'd have to feed it to you'..what??? Needless to say..ben & jerry's cookie dough suddenly repulsed me, so i grabbed a bottle of water!

Thank God..i enjoyed the movie..afterwards..when he mentioned something about the night still being young..i in turn mentioned something about my bed being warm..and i went home!!

I'm young, beautiful and happy..being single..there's no way i'm EVER(except im 32 and have no serious relationship) lowering my standards again!

xx

Who Does He Think He Is??

2008-02-21T01:49:00.000-08:00

I had a dream about a guy i just met. It was crazy..intense..it went straight from sending msgs on facebook(pathetic..i know)..to goin out a couple of times..to our first kiss(details of that are a bit hazy)....basically..it was a very long dream!! i wake up thinking:
1.I didn't want to wake up (let me not lie)
2.What the hell does that mean?

Anyone that has dream experience is welcome to tell me what they think

xx

Welcome to me!

2008-02-19T09:37:00.000-08:00

There's something about pseudo-anonymity that makes you just want to spill your guts. But starting my blog with an intense secret is probably a little scary!!..Right now my life is a bit..well not too bunz..i wont lie..no money..no oko..no fun..(save the occasional perv) urgh..but anyhoo..all that's about to change..i can feel it!! lol..this will definitely be my 'dryest' post! Let the drama begin....hope you have as much fun reading as i have writing..

xxxx